Wednesday, September 21

PAGE 11 CHANGES

In case you're wondering about how pages layout progress, here's an example of how we do it:

This is the page layout Bax sent me (based on the script below).



This is a condensed version of the page script (I took out the dialogue and some stuff that won't make much sense at this point).

PAGE 11, panel 1

Set amongst a nearly endless sea, is a futuristic maximum security facility. It looks like one of those off-shore oil drilling stations. The last part of dialogue from the previous scene carries over into the first panel of this page.


The caption is in the bottom corner of the panel.

PAGE 11, panel 2

Orson is standing in lobby/security office, The place is swamped with monitors and has a very military/prison look. There's a few ARMED GUARDS nearby. Orson is standing with the security captain, who does all that talking. They’re a large wall of monitors and security equipment by them (it comes into play later in the scene).

PAGE 11, panel 3

This is small panel that shows the guard's hand pointing at a layout of the building. It’s reminiscent of the big blueprint of the Enterprise that Geordi always referred to in ST:TNG. There's an underwater elevator that goes all the way to a complex on the ocean floor.

PAGE 11, panel 4

A big, wide panel showing Orson and the guard talking near the bank of monitors. Evelyn's "mug shot" is displayed on a large screen.

PAGE 11, panel 5

Evelyn is coming up in the elevator. She's wearing a wide electronic collar, thick electronic handcuffs (and there's a metal bolt on her metal arm - which is very exposed in her prison t-shirt and pants.)

PAGE 11, panel 6

Small close-up of Orson talking

PAGE 11, panel 7

Reverse shot close-up of guard, as he continues to insult everything that is dear to Orson.



And, here's the page that I sent back, after running it through photoshop - making notes and stuff:



Some excerpts from the notes I sent her:

Panel 1 - Im thinking that the prison building should be off to the right more, so we can make more room for captions...and it seems more cinematic...This panel is just a short introductory panel. It can be much thinner, since the rest of the page is way more important anyway. In the layouts, i kinda shorteneted it up (but acciendtly cropped out the space car). It can be even thinner than that.

panel 5 - this is the one that bugs me the most, but it's all my fault. I think that we shouldn't reveal Evelyn until the next page. The security camera shot takes the punch out her introduction. What do you think about making panel 4 bigger and I'll just pour the dialogue into that panel. This'll effect the layout of the page, so think it over and get back to me.

panels 6/7 - I made these horizontal. I thought they looked too weird back-to-back, and looking in opposite directions. If you kept panel 5 where it's at, but made it wider, then these panels should be fine if they were scrunched over a little bit to make room.


Here's the new layout she sent me today:



Bax wrote:

There goes the version wth the changes. I think the last two panels on page 11 work so much better this way! You have a great eye for layouts. I agree about avoiding centralizing things too. I´m glad you´re there to remind me. =)


Page 12's revisions were much less dramatic, but I might post them soon if I don't have any logos or colored pages later this week.
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