gate.

The security gate at our complex has been acting up lately. This morning I was unable to get out because the exit gate didn’t automatically open. I had to pry the doors apart, squeeze through, and then go open the other gate. There was a moment, as I was wedged between the doors, that I daydreamd about being squished if the gate reactived itself. Luckily, that didn’t happen.

Anyway, on my way back into the complex tonight I remember looking at the gate and randomly thinking, “I wonder if I could crawl under the gate. I bet I could.”

Fast forward a half hour, I’m getting into the elevator with Jogging Suit Lady from down the hall. She moved into the complex the same time we did, and I’m convinced that she hates me or something, as run-ins with each other are always weird and uncomfortable. However, tonight she was really friendly and we were chatting away about the securitywith the gate not opening this morning. Before I knew it, this is what came out of my mouth: “Oh yeah, I was stuck there too. I had to crawl under the gate and go activate the other one.” Without missing a beat she says, “Really? I don’t think it’s possible to crawl under the gate.”

Silence.

“Why did I just say I crawled under gate?” I quickly thought to myself, and then stumbled through something that resembled an answer, “Er..um..yeah..no..well..er…um..” I rapidly moved on to talking about other gate-related issues while she just stared at me, most likely thinking to herself that I’m a complete weirdo - which after half-pretending to be a ninja, I guess I probably am.

We got out of the elevator and walked out together. She then jogged off towards the gate. Moments later, I drove through scrutinizing the amount of available clearance. I think someone could probably climb under the gate, if they really wanted to. But, definiteley not my fat-ass. I don’t know. Maybe I can. I’m really tempted to try, except that I just realized that this turning into a episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm. And it’ll end with me trying to show the lady that I can actually slide under the gate and getting stuck or something.