little lost robot

I’ve been busy finding things to keep my mind distracted from waiting impatiently for Grand Theft Auto IV’s release on Tuesday. Like what? Well, I’ve been going onto Wikipedia to look-up which historical figures are going to be beheaded on upcoming episodes of The Tudors.

It seems that my pal Hasser has also been doing things to keep himself occupied. Things such as: sending me random packages from his home base in San Francisco. Upon opening the mysterious box, I discovered (and photographed) the following contents:

1. Pootie Tang DVD - which he borrowed from me in 2002 and apparently never returned.
2. A framed photograph of the two of us taken moments before our historic cross-county road trip in 2005.
3. DVD ROM entitled, “Awesome Shit 2008″

Naturally, I’m intrigued by what’s on this disc, and I plan on popping it into my laptop in just a few minutes. I thought it wise to do this blog post first, in case Hasser jokingly sent me the AWSUM_$HIT_08 virus, effectively nuking my HP Pavillion. Until I post an update of the disc’s contents, feel free to use the comments forum below to speculate on what he could’ve sent me. [Also, I just sorta used a line from Dune as the title for this post. I’m not sure if it’s just lazy or insanely geeky. Both, I imagine.]

UPDATE: Awesome Shit 2008 contains: Several music collections, including the complete Hall and Oats discography; Several cracked software suites, and the programs to properly open and install them.

That’s right: my office. I’ve been given my own workspace back in the Creative Services department, as I fill-in for one of our promo-producers while she’s away this summer on maternity leave. I’ll be splitting up my work week by shooting news stories the first half, and following it up by begging random photogs for the video I need to cut promos during the rest of the week. Enough about all that…back to my office…

It’s actually a small, closet-ish space, but I’m certainly not complaining. I’m loving it. And while today is my first official day working out of my office, I’ve wasted no time getting it all decorated to my liking. I’m keeping it mostly professional. Back when I had a mancave at home, my computer workspace was covered with all kinds of geeky memorabilia - making it look like a wealthy middle-school kid lived there. My place at work is much more tasteful. Here’s a quick by-the-numbers tour:

1. Dazzler (issue #1 -mint) - Who doesn’t love a laser-light superheroine on disco rollerskates? Dazzler might not be the most popular mutant in the Marvel universe (something the jackasses in the comic shop remind me of on a regular basis), but she did save the X-men from the Hellfire Club back in the day. So there!

2. Lost promotional poster – It’s signed by half the original castaways. I know it’s an ABC show and I work at an NBC affiliate, but they have yet to give me a Heroes poster…

3. Dolls Action Figures – The Punisher and Captain Kirk remain vigilantly at red alert over by my desk lamp.

4. Robot 2000 – I think it’s pretty obvious that I’d end up with one of these on my desk, right?

5. Top secret May sweeps plans - I probably shouldn’t talk too much about this one.

6. Photos – This is a bunch of cute photos of me and my wife arranged on a weird sputnik-looking thing I got at Urban Outfitters.

7. Cobra Commander – He’s a long way from his serpentine lair, but there’s important stuff in my office that he needs to oversee (meanwhile his subordinates plot against him in his absence).

8. WYFF Photog Staff Photo – This is so I don’t forget where I come from, even though I’m still slinging a camera and tripod half the week.

9. Flowers? – I got this lovely bouquet from my wife to place on my desk. I’m keeping it in front of the television, so that I’m not tempted to watch Rachel Ray and Judge Judy all day.

10. Lotus Notes office suite - Just terrible.

Okay, maybe it’s lazy blogging to occasionally embed Onion News Network videos, but this one totally made my day. I would watch CSPAN all day long if it went something like this:

It’ would be totally pronk if this word soon skyrocketed to popularity on the internet - or at the very least, Virginia’s 11th District.

I once read this comic book about Dracula running around in our modern age, and how one evening he decided to pop into the White House to have a word with the President. If you’ll remember: old-school vampires can turn into fog or various beasts at will. Anyway, he met with the President, eventually got bored, and then mesmerized him, making him a lapdog for his Satanic endeavors.

This story stuck with me, and on occasion I imagine myself having vast Dracula-ish or Gandalf-like powers and privately popping in on various celebrities and world leaders. My meeting with the President would undoubtedly start with the phrase, “Dude, what the fuck? Seriously.” During this visit, we’d chat - or I’d chat, as the other sat frozen in place by my mystical powers, forced to listen - and then I’d teleport out before his next appointment (or in the case of the current administration: tee time). As I drove home from work today I daydreamed about the calamitous plight of Britney Spears (as I often do), and how I would like to teleport into her life one evening with the intent of performing some sort of supernatural intervention. That would involve me taking Britney on a “Ghost of Christmas Future” tour of her life, or perhaps just bonking her over the head with my warlock staff.

Of course in today’s society, people with wizard powers are limited to table-top dice games and the convention floor of the San Diego ComiCon. So who is left to help straighten Britney out, if not those adept in transfiguration? Perhaps the kind folks from the Church of Scientology should make a run at her. They’ve got the money and resources, and always seem keen on enlisting new celebrity clients. Instead of wasting time of trying to recruit stars like Will Smith - who clearly already have their shit together - they should be trying to snatch-up a troubled starlet and help turn her life around. I have no idea what goes into that process, but I imagine it involves someone getting out their checkbook. It’d be a major score for them if it worked out. Maybe they’ve already thought of this and decided against it, realizing that it was way too insensitive or near impossible. Or perhaps they don’t really have the resources, seeing that much of it goes into Tom Cruise videos and super-deluxe cruise ships. Either way, they’re probably not as evil as I give them credit for - something I definitely can’t say about that Dracula.

I’m not one to go crazy with internet memes. You will not find me making “lol cats” captions. Furthermore, I’m always hassled by my friends for never leaving MySpace comments or playing along with their (endless) Facebook quizzes and games. All that said, I’ve really become fascinated with all the song charts. It’s when you take the lyrics to a popular song and use them to produce a business-like chart or graph - like this one I just made for an Reo Speedwagon song [below].

Now that I published it to Flickr, I can think of a dozen different ways that I could’ve made my chart better. But in addition to it being my first song cart meme, it was also my first Microsoft Excell chart, as well. Anyway, here’s the links to two fabulous song chart groups on Flickr [boyshapedbox, and song chart group].

I’ve been having a swell time tearing through the new Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 maps over the past few evenings with my online Xbox buddies. I love cranking up the sound on the HD and then having to shout over it, relaying enemy positions to my teammates. But the real icing on the cake is when I go to reload my submachine gun. I just have to laugh when I see my photo realistic avatar (thanks to the Xbox Live Vision cam) staring back at me as I swap out magazines.

I never posted a shot of my previous Rainbow character, so I made sure to snap this one while I was dodging enemy fire last night. What I really wish I had a shot of is Hasser’s custom avatar, which is positively FRIGHTENING. I’m not afraid of Al Qaeda, avian flu, or super-AIDS - but Hasser’s screen face has got a me a little freaked out.

I spent a good part of my day at one of the local peach farms, shooting video (and live shots) as they braced for tonight’s freezing temperatures. Actually not too bad for a Monday, considering that a story about blooming peach trees - mixed with meterologist Jennifer Valdez - pretty much shoots itself.

And we had plenty of time between evening live shots to pose with the plastic dinosaur that lives in my Porta Brace cover.

In other news today:
I had a nice chuckle when I got home from work, received a strange package in the mail, and opened it to reveal an interesting surprise: my five free promotional HD-DVDs! My small HD library just doubled, although sadly, will never increase beyond this point.

Also I’m thrilled to see the first character stills from the live action Gi-Joe movie online. Snake Eyes looks great, but I’ve always though of him as kinda overrated. I can’t wait to see Destro or Cobra Commander (even if he’s being played by the whiny alien kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun).

That’s what I heard from a bunch of thuggish teens last night in the New Orleans French Quarter last night as I passed them on a darkened street corner. I’ll admit, it was clever. Although, I had no witty retort - I just raised my obnoxious mixed drink towards them and kept going. I heard them a moment later, further down the block, shouting “Chi..chi…Chia!”

I was sternly reminded by my pal Akili, a New Orleans native, to stay where all the stupid tourists are. It was a long drive to Orleans from South Carolina, so much of our wandering ended up being in the evening. I decided to prepare for a future blog post about being pickpocketed, so I snapped a photo of my camera with my digital camera, and then snapped a photo of my digital camera with my camera phone.

This morning I realize that taking out my possessions to snap photos of them only draws more unwanted attention to said items. Anyway, it hasn’t all been shady, and I’m looking forward to exploring the rest of the city this weekend. More updates later!

My video assignment today wasn’t all that exciting, but I did find a silver lining in the way of freaky rubber masks.

I was at the local Red Cross office, shooting a news segment urging people to update their CPR skills. Like all CPR stories, at some point the mannequin victim comes out of the bag for a demonstration. Today none of them were outfitted with faces! I guess I didn’t realize that they had removable faces, but it makes sense now that I think about it.

I also didn’t realize they kept hundreds of rubber faces in large, plastic storage bins. At first glance it’s seemed quite freakish, causing me to feel like the guy who wandered into Leatherface’s house to ask for directions, glanced around at furniture made of animal parts, and then thought, “Something is not right here.”

Actually it way more like being at a thrift store in 2059, looking through bins for replacement parts for a crappy household robot. And while I was there…I found a robot baby!

Fact: Robot babies don’t cry, they emit ringtones - which is still rather annoying.