My Xbox isn’t dead, but its usefulness is now only limited to being a nifty webcam or streaming Netflix movies. I’ve fallen victim to the other, less talked about but equally common failure, the DVD drive getting fried. Here’s how it went down, and I guess I wouldn’t have had it any other way:
I had just found super-cheap Guitar Hero bundles at the Circuit City closeout sale, and purchased two GH games, both with wireless guitars. When I got home I downloaded all the free content for Guitar Hero 3, and then unlocked the quickplay songs, so I could just rock out with a freform set list. I had only played two songs before tragedy struck, the first one being “Slow Ride” by Foghat. My daughter was in her high chair, eating Teddy Grahams and I decided it was time for her to “see Daddy rock the F out”, and I loaded up the theme to Top Gun and cranked up the volume to 11 (which would seem impressive on a guitar amp, but our HDTV works on a scale of 100). If Eliza had a cigarette lighter – which she won’t be allowed to play with until she’s at least five – she would have been gently waving it in the air as I scorched through soaring guitar riffs to a majestic melody which I feel should have been changed to our national anthem years ago.
But I didn’t get a round of applause, or even get to do an encore performance. Instead, my Xbox started screaming in agony and I was forced to shut it down. The concert was over, and my faux music career is now on hold until I figure what to do. I can send the box in and pay Microsoft for a repair, or just get a new or used replacement for slightly more money. The timing couldn’t be worse, as I’ve been eyeing the ‘blood splatter red’ Resident Evil 5 Limited Edition Xbox 360 Elite – unfortuantely it comes with the game RE5 which made Hasser and I both want to smash our controllers, rather than play through another level of the game demo.